The Feeling's Mutual, Darling
by Violet Kefira
Summary: “Sarcasm does not become you.”“That’s only because I am not versed in that menial art of fools.”“Sarcasm is not for fools. It takes wit, talent and a quickness of mind.”“I’m sure that’s why you suck at it. Fluffy DG


**A/N: **Hi! I'm back! Y'all haven't heard from me in, what? 6 months? Yes, well, I hit a horrible writer's block period, then when I finally got back on track, my computer decided it despised me and died. Now it's back up and I'm enertaining y'all with a wonderful DG story.

**A/N2: **It's all dialogue, with only three actions throughout the entire thing. I stole the format from Grinning Grint, though the plot's all mine. Actions are in bold.

**Disclaimer: **heavy sigh As if I actually owned these marvelous characters. You must truly be neaurotically challenged to think that I own 'em.

"Hi, I'm Ginervra Molly Weasley."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Draconis Lucius Malfoy."

"Well, no duh."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Everybody knows who you are, Draco."

"How do they know who I am?"

"Oh, please, don't look so surprised. It's so fake."

"I'm being serious. I know I'm important, but how does _everyone _know who I am?"

"I was exaggerating, stupid. Besides, it's obvious that you're a Malfoy."

"How so?"

"Blonde hair, gray eyes, hatred of muggles or muggleborn witches and wizards, disgusting facial features, you know the works!"

"You're not very nice."

"Nobody ever said I was nice."

"Potter did."

"Harry said I was nice?"

"Well, don't you sound hopeful? Why, wouldn't it just be _darling_ if the two of you got together?"

"Oh, please. I don't like Harry. Besides, he could get _any_ girl with his beautiful green eyes, messy hair, cute button nose, those positively fetching abs he's got on him…"

"Okay, stop right there. I just ate."

"What? I was just talking about Harry."

"In a very descriptive manner!"

"You don't find him attractive?"

"NO! I mean, well, I'm sure he's nice looking and-ARGH! Of course I don't find him attractive. He's a _guy_. I'm a _guy_. I would be scared if I _did_ find him attractive."

"I was just asking."

"Can we change the subject? It's making me terribly uncomfortable."

"Please do."

"Right, so yeah I'm a Malfoy, but what does that have to do with everyone knowing me?"

"You're one of the most dominant families of the wizarding world. Have been for centuries."

"That was obvious. We are the peaks of magical excellence. The purest family line in all England, you know."

"Yes, I know."

"Why do you sound so bitter?"

" Because all of you Malfoys are evil and don't care about anyone but _yourselves_!"

"…"

"…"

"Is that a bad thing?"

"AARRGGHH!"

"Apparently."

"The thing is, none of you care that you hurt people's feelings."

"Like when I call you 'Weaselette?'"

**Ginny cringes**

"Do you have to say that word?"

"What? Weaselette?"

"Yes, that word."

"Oh, I'm _so_ sorry that it bothers you when I say_ Weaselette_. I'll just have to stop saying_ Weaselette_. Don't worry about it, Weasley, I'll never call you _Weaselette _again."

"SEE?"

"See what?"

"See, that's what I'm talking about. You find it amusing when I am in some kind of pain, physical or emotional."

"It's not amusing."

"Then why do you continuously do it?"

"Because you don't matter to me."

"That doesn't give you the right to call me foul names."

"It's not a right, Weasley. It's a privilege. And only those of higher class in society have the _privilege _to speak to those of lower class in such a manner."

"You sound like Professor Binns."

"How could I possibly have any resemblance to that idiotic buffoon?"

"I didn't say you looked like him. I said you sounded like him."

"Well, at least I don't _look_ like him."

"Oh, no, he's much easier on the eyes."

"WEASLEY!"

"Holy Merlin, cool down. I was only poking fun. I didn't mean it."

"So you don't think that I look like Binns?"

"No. You have an attractive face. But what do you care what I think of your looks?"

"I don't care what you think."

"Well, you sure sound like it!"

"I don't care what you think."

"You already said that."

"I don't care what you think."

"Draco…."

"I don't care what you think."

"Lucious…."

"I don't care what you think."

"Malfoy…."

"I don't care what you think."

"SHUT UP, YOU PRAT!"

"…"

"At least that worked."

"You yelled at me."

"Nah, ya think, Einstein?"

"Who's Einstein?"

"How should I know? Hermione said it one time. I think it's a muggle thing."

"Apparently."

"What is it with you and your obsession with the word 'apparently?'"

"It's not just a word, Ginny, it's a _phrase. _It says that whatever was told was obvious to see."

"…"

"What?"

"You called me 'Ginny.'"

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did, Draco, and don't get an argument started with me."

"Fine. I just had a slip of the tongue is all. Besides, you called me 'Draco.'"

"So?"

"So…doesn't it bother you that you called me by my first name?"

"No. I call you by your first name all the time. Just because you're what some would call my arch enemy doesn't mean I can't be civil toward you."

"I'm your arch enemy? I'm honored."

"Sarcasm does not become you."

"That's only because I am not versed in that menial art of fools."

"Sarcasm is not for fools. It takes wit, talent and a quickness of mind."

"I'm sure that's why you suck at it."

"Your less than eloquent use of the word 'suck' is completely revolting."

"Frankly, my dear, I couldn't care less."

"Well, it doesn't really matter to me what you car- wait, did you just call me 'my dear?'"

"Yes."

"What was _that_ all about?"

"I called you my dear, what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that by calling a woman…"

"You're hardly a woman."

"…Calling a _woman _one's 'dear' usually means that one has some sort of affection for the woman."

"Point being?"

"Are you saying that you have romantic affections for me?"

"Of course not! I would never deign myself to have feelings for one so low as yourself, Weaselette."

"Whatever, Draco."

"What?"

"What what?"

"What what what?"

"What what, you said what first!"

"That was only because you said what!"

"I'm getting confused."

"That happens often with you, doesn't it?"

"I just so happen to be the top student in the class. In all of the fifth year, as a matter of fact."

"That's fascinating. I'm sure your boyfriend is so proud of you."

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"Oh, what? I'm sorry; I hadn't realized that you and Harry hadn't become official yet. Do forgive me!"

"What is it with you and your obsession with saying that I like Harry?"

"I thought I was obsessed with the word 'apparently.' Really, my de-Weasley, you should come up with some better comebacks before you face me again."

"You called me 'my dear' again."

"No I didn't. I said 'Really, Weasley, you should come up with' etcetera."

"But you started to say 'Really, my dear.' You just caught yourself before you did. I'm beginning to become suspicious, Draco."

"Well, I for one could not care less. If you want to think that I'm in love with you and follow me around with the other star struck girls, that's fine with me. I could always use another one to hold my Arithmacy books."

"Do girls really follow you around and carry your things?"

"Yes. Would you like to be one of them?"

"One: NO BLOODY WAY! I am not at all affectionately attached to you. Two: you are a sick and wicked man to use those poor girls in that way. Just because you're smart and talented and charming and terribly good looking doesn't mean that you can boss girls around."

**Draco smirks**

"What are you smirking for?"

"I had no idea that you felt that way, Weasley."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you just announced a whole list of my attributes."

"So? All I said was that you were smart and talented."

"Oh, no, Weasley. You said much more than that."

"Like what?"

"You said that just because I'm smart and talented and charming and _terribly good looking_ doesn't mean that I can boss girls around."

"…"

"Aren't you going to say something witty and vengeful?"

"Give me a minute I'm thinking."

"Oh, that's sad. Weasley, that's just really, really sad."

"Yeah, well the thing about Binns really took it out of me."

"That wasn't even terribly clever!"

"Wait, wait, it's coming…ah! I was only saying that from the point of view from any of the girls that you claim follow you around. That wasn't a good comeback at all."

"I agree completely. But that doesn't get you off the hook. You still need to come up with some kind of excuse as to why you said that I'm good looking and charming."

"I told you; I was saying it from a 'star struck' girl's point of view."

"And I don't believe it for a moment."

"Well, that's your problem, isn't it?"

"No, it's your problem."

"How so?"

"Well, from the previous conversation, it has become clear to me that you feel some kind of affection for or at least physical attraction to me."

"Even if that was true-and it's not-why is it my problem?"

"Because I usually enjoy telling my friends about the most recent additions to my extensive fan club. They always find it so entertaining."

"But you can't tell the Slytherins that! They'll spread it around the school!"

"What do you care? You should be glad that your Slytherin Prince acknowledges your feelings."

"Oh, please. 'Slytherin Prince?' You are entirely original, darling."

"You called me darling."

"That was only for effect."

"Oh, right, and me calling you 'my dear' was only for effect, too."

"Ha! So you admit it! You really do have some kind of affections for me!"

"What's your point?"

"…."

"I don't think you quite heard the question, Ginny."

"I heard you."

"Then what is your answer?"

"You aren't denying it?"

"What? Denying that I have affections for you? That I love you, to make it simpler? I'm not saying that I'm in love with you, Weasley.

"Then what _are_ you saying?"

"That it's not really a big deal if you think that I like you."

"But do you?"

"No, but I do find you very attractive."

"…."

"Is it so hard to believe?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, for the last five years of our time together, you've done nothing but express feelings of animosity and hatred for me."

"That was just a cover up."

"Draco, it is entirely unbelievable that you would cause that much pain and grief to someone that you really loved. When I love someone, I don't try my best to make them cry."

"I already told you that I don't love you. Besides, I never made you cry."

"Yes, you did."

"When?"

"That one time when you said that thing to me and I cried."

"You never leave out any of the details, do you?"

"I said before that sarcasm does not become you. I stand by that argument."

"Well, maybe sarcasm doesn't become me-"

"You got that right."

"But _I _certainly become me."

"That made no sense."

"Well, dearest, that was the point."

"I don't believe you. I think that you just said that to recover from your nonsensical sentence."

"Ooh, nonsensical. What a big word. I'm so proud."

"I hate you so much."

"The feelings mutual, darling."

"Now you're contradicting yourself."

"How so?"

"You said just a minute ago that you found me attractive. Now you say that you hate me."

"There's a fine line between hate and love, my sweet."

"Stop it with the pet names, Dra."

"You called me Dra."

"That's only because Draco takes too long to say."

"It's two syllables!"

"Yeah, well…your face."

"What kind of comeback is that? Your face doesn't work in this particular conversation."

"What are you talking about? Your face always works."

"I think you've been spending too much time in 'da hood.'"

"You did not just say 'da hood.'"

"I did, too."

"You're way too white to say 'da hood.'"

"Yeah, well…your face."

"I think you've officially lost it."

"But I hired a private investigator to find it."

"There's something strange about you."

"And it's really taken you five years to figure that out?"

"No, I figured it out long ago. I just never chose to voice my thoughts before now."

"Back to the subject of you calling me Dra…."

"It's not a subject! I called you Dra. No big deal."

"A shortening of a person's name usually brings evidence to one's feelings of affection for the other person."

"I do not feel any kind of affection for you."

"That is hard to believe."

"Why is it hard to believe? I hate you. Well, technically, I greatly dislike you, but that's too hard to say."

"So you don't hate me?"

"Hate is an awfully strong word for someone."

"Someone you love, you mean."

"I don't love you. We already deemed it true that you don't love me. So, you should believe me when I say that I don't love you."

"You said that I was attractive."

"Don't forget that you also said the same thing about me."

"Well, that was different."

"In what way was that different from the current situation?"

"When I was saying that I find you attractive, I meant that you're pretty."

"And when I said that I find you attractive, it mean that I think you're handsome."

"That's not what it sounded like."

"Then what did it sound like?"

"Well, it sounded like…like…ah, never mind, it sounded exactly the same."

"My point exactly."

"You are incredibly aggravating."

"It's one of my many character traits that just makes me all the more lovable!"

"You, my dear, are not lovable."

"You did it again!"

"What?"

"You called me 'my dear' again!"

"I've told you this before: it's only for EFFECT."

"And I've told you _this_ before: I don't believe you."

"You never said that you didn't believe me. Only that you were becoming suspicious."

"I also said 'whatever.'"

"What a brilliant deduction."

"Is it a crime to state all of the details of a particular situation when said situation is the topic of conversation at the given time?"

"No, but it should be a crime to talk like that!"

"Talk like what?"

"Like 'state all of the details' or 'when said situation' and 'at the given time.'"

"There's nothing wrong with speaking correctly!"

"True. But there's something slightly aggravating about it. Especially to all of us with poorer grammar skills."

"Well, that explains why you got such a bad grade on the written parts of the exams."

"How did you know that I got a T in that part?"

"I didn't. I was only guessing. But thanks for that tidbit of information. It'll be most useful in blackmailing."

"You are not a very nice person."

"Nobody said that I was nice."

"Now you're referring back to old comebacks, Weasley? That's sad."

"You're also using old comebacks, Dra."

"You called me Dra again."

"I did it on purpose."

"And what purpose was that?"

"To annoy you, of course."

"I'm hardly annoyed. It's quite endearing, really."

"Endearing? What is it with you?"

"What is _what_ with me?"

"Well, first you called me 'my dear' several times. Then there was 'darling,' 'sweet,' and now I'm '_endearing_?' Make up your mind! Do you or do you not have romantic feelings for me?"

"That's hardly a question I can answer on an empty stomach."

"You just had dinner."

"I know. I'm just fishing around for excuses to not tell you what I feel."

"That statement leads me to believe that you _do_ have some sort of romantic feelings for me."

"Well, it is entirely misguided."

"Then please tell me what you really feel. I am most anxious to know."

"Sarcasm really doesn't become you much either."

"Yes, but it's so useful in times such as these."

"Once again I say it: sarcasm-"

"Does not become me, yes I know. Just answer the question."

"Which question was that?"

"You are so aggravating."

"It's one of those things that just _screams_ of me."

"You are so aggravating."

"Yes, darling, you said that already."

"I am using every ounce of self-control that I have to refrain from stating that you called me darling again."

"Is it hard on you, dearest? Do you need an ice pack to soothe that pretty little head of yours?"

"It sounds so strange to hear baby talk coming out of your mouth."

"That's only because I spend no time with the little brats of this world. They are entirely too unintelligible for me."

"You are doing a wonderful job of evading the question looming over your head at this moment."

"I've always been good at that kind of thing."

"I'm sure. Will you just answer it now?"

"Like I asked before, which question?"

"Do you or do you not have some kind of romantic feelings for me?"

"…."

"I'm waiting."

"…."

"What is taking you so long?"

"Yes."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Are you quite sure?"

"Pretty sure."

"And you didn't forget your medication this morning?"

"Of course I di-hey!"

"I couldn't resist. Sorry."

"You're forgiven."

"So you really like me?"

"That would be the general assumption."

"Well…it comes rather as a shock."

"Don't worry. Just take your time."

"Since when?"

"My fifth year. It was dreadfully daring of you to cast that spell on me. What was it called 'Bat-Bogey Hex?'"

"Yeah, the Bat Bogeys. That was the best I've ever felt in my life."

"You know, that's not really the kind of thing you say to a man who just professed his undying love for you. It's rather disparaging."

"Sorry. You have to admit that you deserved it."

"It's true that I was sort of _mean_ to you."

"Try discouraging, demeaning, isolative. Those work better, really."

"Well, I didn't really mean to. I really did like you."

"It just really hurt all those times you made jokes of me and my family's money."

"I know. And I'm sorry. I was an absolute prick."

"That was obvious."

"Now that we've gotten all of that straightened out…"

"Gotten what straightened out? We haven't talked about _anything_ yet."

"Shut up. I'm ignoring you."

"Humph."

"You're so cute when you do that."

"I am flattered at the same time as I am wierded out."

"That's nice. Anyway, like I was trying to ask you before; what do you think of me?"

"Like…in a romantic way?"

"That _is_ what I was going for."

"Well, you're usually mean. And it's not easy to have a conversation with you. You're not particularly endearing. You have a disgusting sense of humor. You don't take homework seriously and your father was in league with the very wizard that threatens two of my friends' lives. Not to mention my entire family's lives. Things aren't really looking up for you just now, Draco."

"I can change."

"I don't know. All of those things are what make up _you_. It's nearly impossible to change who you are."

"But I'm not always like that. A good portion of the time I'm good, caring, sweet, nice, sensitive…you know, all that junk chicks like."

"That is something I highly doubt. Especially the sensitive part. You're not exactly the type of guy to comfort me if my puppy dies or something."

"Is that a terribly important attribute to have? Because if it is I can buy a book or something that would teach me how to be sympathetic of people who have lost their pets."

"That was one of the few times when you showed your more human self. I like that side of you."

"You like it? Or you like it like it?"

"Hmm…I like it like it."

"That's a very good thing."

"Why yes, yes it is."

"Does that mean that you like me?"

"When you're not being evil, yes."

"So…as long as I'm not evil, you'll date me?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"On whether or not my brother kills you before our first date."

"Should I go into hiding?"

"Nah. I think we'll just let them down easily."

"We? Like, together? As in, in the same room with your family who will murder me upon learning that I have captured your heart?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

**Draco smiles and takes Ginny's hand**

"Only for you, _my dear_."

The end

Good? Bad? What? I would really love to know, so hit the review button and make my day!

Violet Kefira


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